I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
