she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
