we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
wow bdsm is so cute
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
