Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
