I'm going to jail i love you
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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