all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
