...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
