sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize