Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
