Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
