I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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