At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
did i just pee glitter
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