drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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