one might say we're banned from that church
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
