Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize