I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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