..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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