He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize