Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
