just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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