Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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