Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
