No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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