Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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