4 words: hood of his car
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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