I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
