For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize