there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
