I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
