My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
