The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
