And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
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also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
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What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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