He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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