DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
