Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.

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  (512): I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone. http://tfl.nu/t7gq
  Replies (19) Good night (1074) Bad night (3039) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.

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  (402): I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity. http://tfl.nu/6ok4
  Replies (17) Good night (2199) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at

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  (651): I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at http://tfl.nu/8c2c
  Replies (4) Good night (672) Bad night (1108) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..

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  (607): Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits.. http://tfl.nu/aan9
  Replies (91) Good night (4809) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl

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  (440): i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe. (440): I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl http://tfl.nu/33bi
  Replies (25) Good night (6546) Bad night (560)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.

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  (319): then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween. http://tfl.nu/ifuh
  Replies (15) Good night (3826) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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  (443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi
  Replies (43) Good night (14865) Bad night (1133) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  i think that dennys waitress has my boxers

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  (716): i think that dennys waitress has my boxers http://tfl.nu/oyrc
  Replies (15) Good night (3335) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.

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  (303): Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans. http://tfl.nu/out8
  Replies (5) Good night (1374) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.

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  (224): I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store. http://tfl.nu/th0h
  Replies (57) Good night (1387) Bad night (2419) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that

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  (918): Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that http://tfl.nu/h4ec
  Replies (4) Good night (1397) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door

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  (775): He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door http://tfl.nu/vv4w
  Replies (13) Good night (450) Bad night (1709)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?

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  (720): Passed out drunk in a tanning bed... (303): Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time? http://tfl.nu/3i4a
  Replies (4) Good night (744) Bad night (469)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.

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  (903): I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/287m
  Replies (2) Good night (779) Bad night (212) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?

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  (765): Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ? http://tfl.nu/48lr
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt

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