K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
