And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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