did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
