It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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