Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
