hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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