Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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