Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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