David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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