no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
