I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
