At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
