can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
