I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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