i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
