"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
