god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
