The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
