bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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